The Nutty Professors

College professors are among the most ridiculously retarded people on the planet. Despite having spent years of their life and thousands of their dollars supposedly "learning" all sorts of information (taught to them by their own stupid professors) They have no grasp of how the world really works. With an aloof detatchment resembling Marie Antoinette's "Let them eat cake", they view themselves as being on a puffy cloud of intellectual enlightenment, from which they can see everything objectively. However, as anyone who has spent more than a few minutes in a college classroom knows , they are rarely enlightened, and never objective. Oh yeah, and they are fat, old and ugly too. Zing!

Today one of my professors offered up the ridiculous analogy (while attempting to convince us of some equally ridiculous "facts") that all cars are the same. He said that if you want you can pay more, but you are really getting the same thing. Aside from being a terrible analogy (I may be biased, as I happen to create extremely poignant, hard-hitting and relevant analogies), it is just really, really wrong. I had the urge to tell him that if cars are all so similar, I would gladly trade cars with him. Hell, I would pay him a few hundred dollars to trade. And I don't even know what he drives. Probably a bicycle. Dirty Hippie. I declined to comment though, as I have been doing recently, and I just stared and gave him my best John Ritter impersonation.

As gratifying as it is to spit some nuggets of truth at these fools and watch them unravel, I have come to grips with the fact that speaking the righteous truth in class is the same as vomiting everywhere - It feels great to get it out, but then you've just got a big mess to clean up.


(Told you I was the analogy master.)





-Eric