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Monday, June 20, 2005

Don't Phunk With My Grammar

Burgeoning communication and internet technology in recent years has given rise to a new breed of people: The internet idiot. Next time you are having a "convo" with some illiterate husk online, consult my dictionary of internet slang to translate the half-formed bushman gibberish they spout at you. Years of extensive research and field testing have led me to believe that this is nearly 100% correct.

1. Ur - Urethra. May also refer to a urinary tract infection, or blood in the urine.

2. LOL - A modification of the word 'roll', refers to the pendulous folds of blubber cascading from the flabby stomachs of many internet users.

3. wtf - derived from antiquated internet slang of the 1800's, translates roughly to "I'm a pillow biter".

4. ttyl - Abbreviation for the ancient Mexican city Technocticlan. Can also be used to refer to Mexican vacations and donkey shows.

5. thx - George Lucas' first film, thx 1138.

6. cya - Short for cyan, or cyanosis, associated with asphyxiation. It is usually typed when the individual is choking on a Zinger or similar snack foods.

7. brb - Short for 'brumby', the wild roaming horses of Australia. They will trample you.

8. convo - Short for convulsions, used when the typer is having a seizure. Shortened to convo due to the obvious difficulty of typing while seizing.

9. gg - "got gas". can be posed as a statement or question. An evolution of "got milk", but instead of a milk mustache it is evidenced by massive amounts of flatulence, and/or painful cramps. Can also be gtg (got the gas)

10. rofl - referring to 'romping on the floor', it is widely used in homosexual circles and has certain sexual connotations (Mostly in reference to ass-raping).

-Eric

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