Friday, July 04, 2008


I got this moving dolly to move the vast amounts of crap I have acquired over the years. I only used it once, and now I don't need it anymore. Being a poor person, it goes against my nature to get rid of it without making any money, so I am selling it.

This fascinating device uses the power of physics (and wheels) to allow even weaklings like you to move big things so you don't have to bother your friends to help you move. Also good if you don't have any friends.

- 600 pound capacity: That's like Rosie Odonnell minus a few hundred pounds. You can carry desks, dressers, heavy boxes, beer kegs, whatever.

-Big Wheels: These are actual air-filled tires, not solid-plastic crap wheel like you may find on other people's dollies. This means you get unparalleled coushion, and the ability to run over smaller, lesser dollies. Even allows it to easily go up and down stairs, if you can handle it.

-Red color: Shiny red color makes it appear you are moving much faster than you actually are, which has to be good. Also catches people's eye so they are sure to notice you heroically moving very large items. Don't forget to sneer haughtily at people who have boring grey or blue dollies.

-Price: Cheaper than a new one, but works just as well. You'll need the dolly to move all the liquor you can buy with the money you saved


Anonymous said...

sorry i already have one. I use it regularly to shlep my piano around. Before the dolly I used to carry it by hand

Anonymous said...

This is the funnest Explanation of a Dolley, i have - EVER - heard. Thank you for the smile,