Tuesday, December 13, 2005

One Flu Over the Cuckoo's Nest*

What is the worst thing to happen to birds since the invention of eating them? If you guessed 'their inherent stupidity', you are wrong. If you guessed 'Bird Flu' you are right.

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This fowl* disease (I went there) has been flying* around for over 100 years, but the human infecting version was hatched* in Hong Kong in 1997. During this outbreak 6 people died, but they were all Chinese. Scientists noted that it spread primarily from chicken to human, but rarely from human to human. It spreads mostly from chicken to chicken, due mostly to chickens' notorious promiscuity and wanton disregard for contraceptives.

The Human-infecting strain has been roosting* in almost exclusively Asian areas, and has been the worst hit to Asian-white people relations since Jackie Chan started doing wire stunts in his movies.

Despite Asia seemingly being the origin of the human-strain, the disease has recently flown the coop* and has been lightly pecking* at the populations of some European countries as well.

Because of the recent outbreaks, millions of birds have been killed in the name of saving lives. However, the the Bird Flu hasn't gone north for the winter* yet, and the flock* of victims keeps getting larger. Some people are preparing Y2K like provisions to pluck* their families from the beak* of certain infection. To others, the news is just more incessant "end of the world" squawking*. But before any more people get diseased bird-meat stuck in their craw*, all I gotta say is "Where's the beef?" or maybe "Polly wants a beef cracker." I couldn't decide which was funnier, sorry.

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* It's a bird joke. Get it?


1 comment:

Toni Juliano said...

you certainly are one crazy bastard. and you know i love it.