There are only 2 things 13 year-old girls can do that I can't

There are only 2 things 13 year-old girls can do that I can't:



1. Seduce Roman Polanksi





2. Jump Rope





The Crossfit workout I did today(recognize) required me to complete the onerous task of jump-roping. Now to most average people this is a relatively simple task, so it stands to reason that for a physical specimen such as myself it should be nothing short of laughably easy.

What should happen is, I whip through 50 double-unders in less time than it takes Polanksi to slip a roofy in a capri sun, and then put my hands on my hips, throw my head back, and let out a hearty, booming laugh before crushing the rest of the workout and tearing my shirt off.

What actually happened, is I ended up enraged and drenched in sweat after 10 minutes of cursing, stomping, and performing what looked to bystanders like a death-battle with a 7 foot electric eel.


Not my proudest moment.





-Double E