(Not that kind of gay)
When I was a kid I used to think it would be super cool to live in a frozen wasteland where nobody else was badass enough to tread, killing polar bears with knife-spears and traversing glaciers with souped-up snowmobiles.
But now I am much wiser in the ways of the world, and I know that would totally suck. When you have to take preventative measures just to make sure your ass doesn't adhere to a toilet seat, you are not going to be having much fun the rest of the day either. Or 5 seconds later, when your rock-hard popsicle-turd splashes 40 degree water on your cornhole.
But even here in Florida, winter is pretty gay, and it's not even cold.
Women use winter as a bizarre excuse to stop shaving their legs.
"Oh it's winter, I don't have to shave my legs any more tee hee".
That makes about as much sense as saying "Oh it's winter, I can stop showering now. Nobody will be able to smell me because I have this big coat on."
"Winter is here everybody, no reason to keep brushing your teeth or combing your hair!"
"I'm so glad winter is here, now I can just take dust baths instead of using water and cleaning products."
RETARDED.
Literally the only good thing about winter is that I don't have to mow my lawn. I can just let it die like nature intended and have total plausible deniability.
-Double E
