Friday, January 29, 2010

So let it be written, so let it be done - Part II

Here are some more guidelines for you mortals to follow when I become rightful ruler of this planet:

I. Bathrooms. There are a lot of things wrong with public bathrooms.

1. All urinals will be based on my height. right now urinals are either 6 inches off the ground and might as well just be a drain in the floor, or they are so tall you have to stand on your toes and drape your sack over the edge just to use it.

2. Speaking of urinals, spend the extra 5 dollars and make the walls between them more than a foot tall. The ones they have now are the equivalent of Nicolas Cage's hair: nobody is fooled, and you can see a lot of bare flesh.

3. Stall doors will only open outward. I don't know why they feel it's necessary to make a stall the size of a medicine cabinet and have the door open INTO it, so you have to stand on the toilet to close the door. WRONG ANSWER. I am tired of having to perform circus magic to get in and out of bathroom stalls. Some people don't have precious seconds to spare when trying to use the bathroom. Hey, do what you want, but you are the ones who will be cleaning shit off the walls.

More to follow, peasants.

- Double E